Letting Go of Worry: 4 Methods for Finding Peace of Mind
Worrying is a natural, human reaction when confronted with difficulties or uncertainties in life. It’s the mind's way of trying to anticipate and prepare for potential problems, even if those problems may not ultimately materialize. This evolutionary adaptation serves an important purpose, as it can motivate you to problem-solve and take proactive steps to address sources of concern.
While there can be positive aspects to worry, it’s characterized by a preoccupation with a feared future outcome, and it pulls our attention away from the present moment. When worry consumes us, it can prevent us from fully and mindfully engaging with the here and now and can negatively impact our overall well-being and quality of life.
The good news is that with the right tools and support, you can learn to manage worry in healthier ways. Let’s look at four helpful methods for doing this:
1. Developing a Mindful Approach to Worry
In a world that often moves at a relentless pace, it's easy to become overwhelmed with anxious worries that can consume our minds. Because worry is a future-focused thought process, it can get in the way of living in the present moment. However, simple mindfulness techniques can serve as powerful antidotes to this mental turbulence. By engaging in things like deep breathing exercises or meditation, we can ground ourselves firmly in the present moment, preventing worry from spiraling out of control.
Diaphragmatic Breathing
When we take the time to pause and focus on our breath, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to calm the body and mind. As we inhale and exhale, we become acutely aware of the sensations within, anchoring us to the here and now and shifting our focus from the mind to the body. This simple act of mindful breathing can have a profound effect, allowing us to release the tension and stress that often accompany worry.
There are many ways to practice mindful breathing, but it typically involves deep and slow belly breathing on a particular count, and then repeating several times while focusing your attention on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. I like to inhale for three seconds, hold for three, and then exhale for six while keeping my focus on my belly. Feel free to experiment and create whatever practice works for you.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation encourages us to observe our thoughts and emotions with a sense of detachment and compassion. Rather than getting caught up in the narratives of our minds, we learn to witness them with a gentle curiosity, recognizing that they are fleeting and do not define us. Think of the anxious thoughts as leaves on a stream that simply float by us.
If you’re new to meditation, a body scan meditation is a good place to start. Like deep breathing, it helps focus attention away from the thoughts and into the body. If you search online for body scan meditations, I’d recommend starting with a short one (10-15 minutes). Then, if you find it helpful, move on to longer ones.
Of course, practicing mindfulness doesn't eliminate worry, but it equips us with the tools to keep worry in perspective and avoid becoming overwhelmed. By living more fully in the present, we free ourselves to engage more deeply with our lives.
2. Reframing Negative Thought Patterns
When we experience anxiety, our minds tend to catastrophize and imagine worst-case scenarios, even when the likelihood of those events occurring is quite low. These anxious fears are often exaggerated and disconnected from the actual facts of the situation. Although they may seem real and distressing in the moment, they may not accurately reflect the true nature of the circumstances.
Through the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we can learn to identify and challenge these unhelpful fears. By reframing our perspective, we can replace negative self-talk with more realistic and helpful inner dialogue.
Cognitive Restructuring
Reframing our thoughts (Cognitive Restructuring), is a powerful technique that can help you manage anxious thoughts and feelings more effectively. This approach involves examining and challenging the negative or distorted thinking patterns that often underlie worries. By consciously reframing these intrusive thoughts in a more balanced and adaptive way, you can learn to reduce the intensity and frequency of your worrying, fostering a greater sense of emotional resilience and well-being.
The process of cognitive restructuring typically involves several key steps:
First, you identify the actual worry thoughts and the thinking errors that are fueling them. Common errors include things like tunnel vision, catastrophizing, or all-or-nothing thinking.
Then you investigate the accuracy and helpfulness your worry thoughts. This may involve considering alternative explanations, weighing the evidence for and against your worries, and adopting a more solution-focused mindset.
Lastly, you actively work to replace the worry thoughts with more realistic, constructive perspectives.
While it does take practice, cognitive restructuring can empower you to take greater control over your thought processes, breaking free from the cycle of worry.
Scheduled Worry Time
The goal of reframing your worries is to help you to shift from unproductive worry to productive problem-solving. Scheduled worry time is another helpful strategy for doing this. Here’s how it works:
Throughout the day as you notice a worry thought arise, record it on a worry list.
Tell yourself something like: “That’s just an unproductive worry. Unless there’s something for me to problem-solve right now, it can wait until later.”
Refocus on whatever you’d prefer to be doing, other than worrying, and commit yourself to avoid thinking about the worry until your scheduled worry time.
Schedule your worry time in the early evening so it’s late enough to capture all of your worries from the day, but not so late that it disrupts your sleep. Refer to your worry list and allow yourself to worry about whatever is on it, but within the boundaries of 20-30 minutes.
Often the things that seemed worrisome earlier in the day aren’t even relevant any longer. It’s a helpful way to take more control over your worries.
Whatever reframing technique you use, getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper, even if it’s simply to journal, can begin to quiet the mind.
3. Embracing Imperfection and Accepting Uncertainty
When worry thoughts spiral and keep you from productively problem-solving your situation, you may have formed unrealistic expectations about your problem or its solution. An intolerance of uncertainty, lack of control, or the need for a perfect solution are some of the things that can contribute to this.
Embracing Imperfect Solutions
It's natural for us to want to find the optimal answer or resolution to the challenges we face, but this can lead to a circular never-ending worry process. The reality is that perfection is often elusive, and the quest for it can distract us from more constructive approaches.
Instead of getting caught up in worrying about flawless solutions, it can be more helpful to approach problems with flexibility. Sometimes, good enough is truly good enough, and the path forward may involve compromise rather than a single, perfect fix. By letting go of the need for perfection and focusing on making meaningful progress, we can lighten the mental and emotional load and find more peace of mind along the way.
Accepting Uncertainty and Lack of Control
Embracing the inherent uncertainty that exists in life can also be a powerful antidote to persistent worry and anxiety. When we learn to accept that there are many aspects of our existence that are beyond our direct control or complete understanding, it allows us to let go of the futile attempt to achieve absolute certainty.
Acceptance of the future as fundamentally unpredictable can free us from the mental anguish of constantly trying to anticipate, prepare, and control for every possible outcome. By cultivating a mindset of openness to the unknown, we create space for greater peace of mind, resilience, and the ability to live more fully in the present moment. Embracing the uncertainty of life can also paradoxically lead to a deeper sense of calm and acceptance.
When we approach our worries with a flexible mindset, being open to imperfect solutions that acknowledge the future as uncertain and largely outside of our control, it promotes an adaptive mindset that increases our capacity to weather challenges. Recognizing setbacks as natural empowers us to navigate those difficulties with resilience.
4. Cultivating Meaningful Activity and Social Connection
Practical lifestyle commitments such as avoiding overworking, keeping physically and socially active, and having plenty of fun can bring much-needed perspective back to a worrying mind.
Maintaining Work-Life Balance
Establishing a healthy work-life balance is key. Make sure to step away from work at the end of the day and set aside time for relaxing activities that help you recharge. Turn the work phone and laptop off and put them out of sight, particularly for those of you who are remote workers. This is especially important in the evening if worry about work is disrupting your sleep.
Keeping Physically and Socially Active
When we keep our bodies moving through regular exercise and physical activity, we stimulate the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals, which can help alleviate stress and elevate our mood.
Similarly, nurturing meaningful connections with others through social interaction provides a vital sense of belonging and support. It not only helps us refocus away from worrisome thoughts, but also gives us a valuable outlet to share our concerns and gain perspective from trusted friends and loved ones.
Having Fun
When we immerse ourselves in pursuits that are enjoyable, meaningful, or rewarding, it naturally shifts our focus away from the concerns that may be weighing on our minds. Whether it's picking up a new creative skill, exploring the outdoors, or simply indulging in a recreational activity, dedicating time for fun can provide a much-needed respite from worry and stress, helping to restore our emotional well-being so we can better manage challenging thoughts and feelings.
Everybody is unique and has their own idea of balance, but the more connected you are to people and activities that you find meaningful, the less time there is to get lost in your head.
When to Seek Professional Help for Chronic Worry
It's normal to experience worry and anxiety from time to time, but for some, these feelings can become all-consuming and interfere with daily life. If you find yourself constantly preoccupied with anxious thoughts, unable to control your worrying, or are experiencing physical symptoms like tension headaches or insomnia, it may be time to consider seeking professional support.
Chronic worry can be a sign of an underlying anxiety disorder, such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). While it's understandable to want to try managing these feelings on your own, there's no shame in reaching out for help from a qualified mental health professional.
Remember, you don't have to suffer in silence. By addressing persistent worry and anxiety with the support of a caring expert, you can learn healthy coping strategies and find a path forward towards greater peace of mind.
Read about our Anxiety Therapy in Washington DC and VA.